You CAN Go "Home" Again!

Today was a pivotal day for me in terms of my retirement. I went back to Nerge School for the first time since leaving in June. I had my share of butterflies wondering how I would feel walking in as an outsider for the first (actually second) time in 24 years. I wondered how I would be received. Would people be happy to see me? I was so worried about all of this, but when I walked into the building it felt like home. It didn't look different, it didn't feel different, it was the same Nerge School that I loved for so long. I didn't do it alone - I brought reinforcements. Paulette and Chris agreed to do this visit with me, and that made things a whole lot better. Chris had the same apprehensions I did, and we laughed about it later at lunch, agreeing that we were silly to think otherwise. The hugs were reassuring, as were the smiles and laughter that I didn't realize how much I had missed. I actually feel a bit sad right now. I have worked hard at being a retiree - distancing myself as much as possible from my old life, but one who is happy in her decision to leave. I know the sadness I am feeling is not for the job (no way) but rather for the friendships made over 24 years of my life. As Artie said when I told him of my feelings, "This will pass, Renee." and I know he's right. I love the place in my life I am in right now. I know I did the right thing, but I also know how lucky I was to have been part of such an amazing school. Not without its problems for sure, but it houses the greatest bunch of people one could ever have the honor to work with. Having been in other schools I knew this all along, and that is the sadness I feel right now. It was a privilege to be a teacher at Nerge School. I worry that some of the younger teachers don't fully understand this. I hope they know how lucky they are to be working in such a special place. Sometimes leaving a place makes you aware of what you had. Guess what? I knew it all along.